Females are still the deadliest.
by Ranma's girl
Summary: Hmm to say to much will spoil it, but Kuno has a hard time in it hehehehe


Females are still the deadliest.  
  
Disclaimer they not mine ok I have no money it's not ok but part of life right, so now onto the next thing before you flame me read all the way through this fic, it's suppose to have some humor in the end of it and make the whole thing more sensible by then. If not then you can write to me at (ShigatsuC@aol.com)  
  
  
Shampoo walked through the darken street her eyes showing an unstable gleam in them. Her hand holding a large knife with blood dripping down onto the street as she walked away from the fallen body of her great grandmother. Cologne's lifeblood slowly dripped off the tip of the blade to the cement sidewalk. Shampoo gave out an insane laughter that would make Kodachi jealous.  
  
Mousse followed her from a safe distance his eyes trying to make out her details as he tried to keep up with her. Shampoo walked slowly to the Ucchan's. Walking through the door to let the wood and glass splinter to the ground to break the silence of the night. Shampoo looked toward the stairs leading up to the living quarters. Quickly running up the stairs she noticed the rooms was completely empty. A soft growl left her throat as she walked back downstairs. "They no get away from shampoo she teach that spatula girl who is best girl in Nerima no in world." Shampoo quickly ran toward the Kuno mansion. "Shampoo kill crazy girl then town celebrate her death they thank Shampoo for this one." Shampoo ran faster toward the home of the Kuno's. Mousse again was hard press to keep up with her.  
  
"What has happen to my sweet loveable Shampoo? I'm sure it's all Soatome's fault." Mousse ran on after the lady he loved.  
  
Shampoo entered the home of the crazy Kuno's. Walking through the yard making sure to not trip any traps she made her own door through the wall. Looking quickly around she only found a couple of servants talking in the kitchen and playing cards with Kodachi's panties.  
"Shampoo kill them just because they sick like old goat." Shampoo quickly ran over to the group then sliced them all up in a heap of gory mess, which would take the experts weeks to figure out.  
  
Shampoo ran out of the kitchen never noticing that she was being watched by Mousse.  
"Oh no this is even worse she's killing people she doesn't even know and why was that guy betting so many panties on a pair of twos what an idiot." Mousse shook his head slowly then walked away eager to keep an eye on Shampoo.  
  
Shampoo soon found her self at the Tendo dojo where she gave a bestial scream of rage.   
"Aaaaaah I needed that." Shampoo stretched her tired body then made a new door in the house. Looking around she noticed that Kasumi was busy making out with Tofu in the living room.  
"Why that no good brat all this time trying to make people think she was sweet and innocent and here she is making out with Tofu. Shampoo quickly ran over to slice off the hand of Tofu, which was slowly sliding to places that are marked private.  
Tofu jumped up with a scream as his hand fell to the floor.  
  
Shampoo glared at him. "You no see sign that Mr. Tendo leave there." Shampoo pointed to a sign taped to Kasumi's chest, which read. (Private no trespassing.)   
  
"Well yeah, but I figured no one would notice it at this time of night." Tofu smiled sheepishly.  
  
"Shampoo notice, all men like they no nice to girls." Shampoo then used her knife to chop his head off.  
  
Kasumi jumped up with a scream.  
"Shampoo what are you doing, you could have at least waited until after we were done. geez now what am I'm going to do, I'm so hot right now." Kasumi whined as she watched the head of Tofu roll around the floor with his tongue hanging out.  
  
"Kasumi suppose to be good girl, she suppose to be proper Japanese girl not one who use guys." Shampoo glared at her.  
  
"Who told you that? I'm anything but a good girl geez I want fun too ya know." Kasumi then glared back until Shampoo growled out loudly again.  
"Aaah still feel good. Ok Since you just shatter my world you die too so sorry." Shampoo then cut off Kasumi's head in one fast swipe.  
Walking away from the bloody scene one thought ran through her head. *Why no one come see why she scream.* Shampoo walked slowly up the stairs to see Akane's door wide open with her and Ranma making out on her bed with P-chan taping it with a video camera set up to the internet.  
  
"Whaaaaa I thought they no love each other, I thought they do nothing but fight what kind of fight is this?" Shampoo charged into the room a snarl on her lips.  
"Die Saotome." Shampoo screamed.  
  
"Shut up Ryoga can't cha see I'm busy?" Ranma mumbled as he went on kissing Akane.   
  
"No is lost boy." Shampoo then sliced Ranma and Akane's head off at the same time.  
"No want to know why you guys hide this from everyone." Shampoo then headed for Nabiki's room.  
Walking in to Nabiki's room she first saw a guy leaving her window while another one walked inside.  
  
"What go on here?" Shampoo asked as she heard several more guys outside.  
  
"Oh hello Shampoo a nude Nabiki turned to her. "I'm rather busy to night but I can fit you in tomorrow if you'd prefer." Nabiki smiled beautifully at her.  
  
"Shampoo thought Akane hentai in family, now she know its Nabiki." With a quick jump she landed by Nabiki and the undressing boy. Slicing their heads off she quickly ran to the window then jumped out side slicing the heads off of all the men below the windows.  
"Hmmph that teach you for buying it from greedy girl." Shampoo then jumped back into the window. Walking quickly toward the guest room she found Genma panda and Nodoka. Shampoo's eyes widen as she took in the scene before her.  
"This is sick family it good I kill them all off." Shampoo ran over then sliced Genma panda's head off to roll around like a furry ball.  
  
"Genma dear why did you stop scratching my back." Nodoka looked back to see a headless panda and a purple hair girl standing behind her.  
  
"Oh Shampoo hello how are you tonight." Nodoka asked her politely.  
  
"Shampoo doing good, she killing off as many as she can before I go home to China." Shampoo smiled nicely.  
  
"Well that's a nice hobby how many have you've done so far." Nodoka asked her sleepily.  
  
"Hmmm I'd say with all then guys hmmm about seventy-eight." Shampoo looked thoughtful as she recounted the bodies.  
  
"That's nice." Nodoka yawned then rested her head on the pillow.  
  
"That number counts you in it too." Shampoo told her politely.  
  
"Oh well won't that be nice it's kinda like a party." Nodoka started to snore slightly until Shampoo growled.  
  
"I hate snoring." Shampoo then sliced her head off.  
"How Ranma get so smart when his parents are so dumb." Shampoo ran out of the house to see Ukyo walking along with Konatsu and Tusbasa arm in arm with them both, laughing happily.  
  
"Spatula girl in love with female boy and mailbox boy now?" Shampoo asked the couple.  
  
All three looked backward at her but only Ukyo answered her.  
"I was in love with them both from the first day I met them." Ukyo smiled as she nuzzled one neck then the other.  
  
"Oh so you just pretend then. Shampoo find it funny, but not that funny." Shampoo then sliced their heads off in one fast motion.  
  
Shampoo stopped for a moment to think. "I only have one more to kill then I be free." Shampoo turn around to see a pair of glasses glittering in the light from the street lamp.  
  
"Mousse it's you turn to die." Shampoo then threw the knife directly at him knowing with his bad eyesight he'd never see it coming.  
  
Mousse stood stunned for a moment before talking to her. "Shampoo don't do this let us get help and then we'll run home to China where they can't touch you for these crimes please. OUCH You stabbed me, you actually stabbed me." Mousse looked down to see the knife in his guy with blood spilling out.  
  
"Stupid duck I know stab you I threw knife into you gut. Now I free to marry my one true love." Shampoo ran off to find her man. As she ran away she then saw Kuno standing gallantly by the front door of the nekohanten.  
  
"Hello my purple passion flower. Is everyone gone that stands in our way." Kuno swept her up into his arms kissing her deeply.  
  
A scream rends the night air with a spine chilling, blood curling, pain filled uh scream.  
  
Mousse sat straight up in bed his heart beating faster then ever as he looked around the room.  
"A dream it was only a dream, thank the kami's for that." Mousse shuddered a bit then jumped as the door flew open with a bang.  
"Why stupid duck boy scream in such a spine chilling, blood curling, pain filled uh scream." Shampoo asked him as she stood in the doorway with Cologne on her stick.  
  
"It's no big deal it was only a dream." Mousse laughed a bit then tried to relax until Shampoo talked again.  
  
"Way you scream, you think Shampoo go out kill everyone then marry Kuno." Shampoo laughed at the absurdness of it then went to her room leaving a shivering Mousse behind. "I am never eating cold pizza with anchovies again."  
  
Ukyo walked into the spare room where Konatsu was sleeping.  
Watching him for a second she then quickly left him as she nodded once to herself.  
"I knew those sleeping pills would work good on him." Ukyo then moved through the house to the front door. Leaving quickly she ran down the road to the nekohanten.  
"First get rid of the Chinese bimbo then the tomboy then well who ever I fell like, I'm a girl and I can do what ever I want." Ukyo talked to herself as she ran up to the building. Using her killer spatula she made toothpicks of the glass door.  
Walking quickly upstairs she found Cologne trying to walk on her own and failing miserable.  
  
"You mean you can't walk with out that stupid stick." Ukyo looked on in disbelief.  
  
"Quiet girl this isn't funny how'd you'd like to be dependent on a stick to get around." Cologne glared at Ukyo who just shrugged her shoulders.  
"I'd probably do my self and the world a favor and kill myself off, like this." Ukyo then used her spatula to slice Cologne's head off. She watched in amazement as the body was now walking around the room with no troubles.  
"Heh it figures it was her fat head holding her body down all this time." Ukyo then left to find Shampoo. Looking into one room then another she found Shampoo in the same room as Mousse.  
  
"Ok Shampoo it's the end for you now." Ukyo announced as she walked into the room.  
  
"Shampoo is not in here." Mousse glared at Ukyo who laughed bitterly.  
"Yeah right then whose feet are under your robe sticking out." Ukyo pointed to the pair of feet sticking out from under his robe.  
  
"They are not Shampoo's feet, they are my own." Mousse growled at her.  
  
"Yeah sure they are." Ukyo grabbed his robe then lank it off his body in one sweep only to see Mousse standing with his feet pointing in the wrong direction.  
  
"Uh bad eye sight not my only problem. I was born with backward feet and have to wear special shoes." Mousse mega blushed.  
  
"Oh geez I'm sorry I didn't mean to embarrass you like that here let me relieve you of this problem." Ukyo smiled nicely even though there was a spark of deadly mischief in her eyes.  
  
"You can help me that's great, how ya gonna do that?" Mousse started to jump from one foot to the other one.  
  
"Like this sugar." Ukyo then sliced his head off to go bouncing from spot to spot as the body kept going back and forth too. A screech went through the air as Shampoo popped up from behind the bed to see the head bouncing around.  
  
"Why spatula girl do that?" Shampoo asked her as she dodged the bouncing head.  
  
"Why are you behind the bed, is it that you truly do love Mousse?" Ukyo smiled triumphantly at her.  
  
"Uh no I no do that I look for dust bunnies." Shampoo tried to look innocent.  
  
"Yeah right like I'd believe anything that old." Ukyo then used her spatula to slice her head off which landing down still looking innocent. A couple of dust bunnies hopped out from under the bed to nudge the head softly.  
"Hmm maybe she was looking for dust bunnies, oh well." Ukyo left to take care of the Tendo's.  
  
Ukyo walked into the front door. "OUCH why don't they have a porch light that hurts?" Ukyo then used her spatula to open the door. Walking inside she found Genma and Soun sitting at the table playing poker with panties as the money.  
"That is so sick, your betting on a pair of twos. No wonder you guys never win at this game." Ukyo looked at them in disgust, then as Genma started to speak, she sliced his head off. 'You know I don't want to hear it." The body quickly whipped out his signboard to write something down but was stopped by Ukyo.  
"I don't want to read it either." Ukyo then sliced the board in two.  
Ukyo turn to Soun his eyes flooding the place with tears.  
"You know if you didn't cry so much, I may have let you off but no here you are bawling as usual." Ukyo then sliced his head off with a shower of tears flying outward.  
  
Walking away she noticed Kasumi standing in the doorway. "What are you doing? Ukyo asked her.  
  
"What does it look like, you killed off father and Genma I'm outta here to live with Tofu." Kasumi turned to leave when Ukyo used her spatula on her watching her head roll around the floor while speaking. "OH MY"  
"Hmmph all this time, you could have killed them then left to be with Tofu, but no you wait for me to do it well thanks a lot." Ukyo then ran upstairs to find Ranma making out with Akane in his bed and P-chan watching with a video camera.  
  
"DIE SAOTOME." Ukyo screamed as she ran over to take care of him.  
  
"Shut up Ryoga I'm trying to get to third base."  
  
"What you've already made it to second? Ukyo asked in shock.  
  
"Yeaaaaah sure did heh heh heh." Ranma chuckled happily as he went back to kissing Akane.  
  
"That's it you'll die second." Ukyo then sliced Akane's head off then Ranma's. A growl left her lips as the heads kept on kissing while the hands kept on roaming. Ukyo looked over at P-chan who was still taping the whole thing. "You too can die you dumb pig, your better as dinner then a pet." Ukyo sliced through his body but he kept taping the two decapitated bodies.  
  
"Hmmph sick hentia's." Ukyo then walked over to Nabiki's room. Walking inside she noticed a large group of men with cameras.  
  
"SICKOS." Ukyo then started to slice up everything in the room. When she was done she looked around to see Nabiki covered in blood with her hands on a large display of slightly sliced merchandise of rare books and a slightly dead author of the books.  
  
"Oops sorry I thought something else was going on in here. " Ukyo smiled then sliced off Nabiki's head. "Geez how embarrassing." Ukyo turned to leave, walking out of her room she noticed Nodoka walking around the room her face looking more worried by the moment.  
  
"What's wrong." Ukyo asked her.  
  
"I can't seem to find Genma's head and I know he had it when he went downstairs." Nodoka looked even more worried then before.  
  
"Don't worry sugar when I'm done, you won't care where is his head since you won't have your own." Ukyo smiled as she watched Nodoka feel around her head.  
"Nope it's there, right where I left It?" Nodoka smiled gratefully.  
  
"Not anymore sugar." Ukyo then sliced her head off. Ukyo watched as the hands tried to find the head then rubbed together in worry.  
"Crazy family." Ukyo then walked out of the Tendo's home looking for her one true love.   
Ukyo then noticed a presence near her.  
"OK Konatsu come on out now." Ukyo glared at Konatsu as he came out from the darkness.  
  
"Ukyo-sama, why did you do this, it's not at all like you." Konatsu looked sadly at her.  
  
"Two reasons sugar, one I am going to run away with my true love." Ukyo looked over into another part of the darkness where Kuno came walking out.  
  
"Are they all gone my love." Kuno grabbed Ukyo then kissed her passionately.  
  
"Yes they are now dead no one but Konatsu stand in our way." Ukyo then looked at Konatsu.  
"The second reason is that it's your dream sugar." Ukyo then laughed hysterically as she sliced his head off.   
  
A scream rends the night air with a spine chilling, blood curling, pain filled uh scream.  
Konatsu sat up in bed his heart pounding, his body full of cold sweat.  
"It was a dream just a dream, thank what ever kami is listening to me tonight." Konatsu sighed as the door flew open with a bang.  
  
"Konatsu what's wrong, is Ranma hurt?" Ukyo asked as she flew into his room.  
  
"Uh no everyone is fine, I just had a bad dream." Konatsu relaxed then laid back down to sleep as Ukyo made her way back to her room.  
  
  
Akari cackled with delight as she ran through the street caring the head of Ryoga Hibiki.  
"I did it I did it, I can finally have pork for dinner." Akari ran into the nekohanten still carrying the head in her left hand. Looking around she noticed the shriveled up old ghoul playing with her stick.  
"That is gross you should never poke a stick into your eye it could make you blind." Akari ran over grab the stick away from her then ran it through her small body.  
"You want taste of Ryoga, he good pork." Akari asked sweetly, when Cologne didn't answer she moved upstairs to find Shampoo making out with Mousse on the floor.  
  
"I knew you two love each other this proves it and I'll not let you two stop us from showing our love." Akari ran over then used Ryoga's head to smash them both.  
"Grandfather say he has a hard head, this proves it true." Akari then ran out of the house in the direction of the Uchan's. Akari looked around to see Ukyo dressed in men's clothes while Tsubasa and Konatsu were both dressed in frilly dresses.  
"What is going on here?" Akari asked sweetly.  
  
"Oh hi Akari we are busy changing recipes wanna join us?" Ukyo asked softly as she handed a pair of boxer to Konatsu who quickly handed her a pair of panties.  
"What kind of recipe is this?" Akari asked seriously wondering about their sanity.  
"Clothing and how to dress the best recipes of course, you should try it then you'll be able to join us here." Ukyo then handed a white dress shirt to Tsubasa who gave her back a silky blouse.   
"No thanks you just as sick as the ones at the nekohanten." Akari then used Ryoga's head to smash them all in the head causing them to all fall over with out their heads.  
"This work very good." Akari patted the top of his head, and then ran on to the Tendo dojo.  
Akari ran inside to see Kasumi making out with Genma while Nodoka and Tofu watched on.  
"What's going on here?" Akari asked surprised.  
"Oh hello Akari, you see Genma needs to learn how to treat women better so we are teaching him, don't you think he's learning very well." Nodoka smiled innocently at her.  
"That is so wrong." Akari smashed Ryoga's head in to Nodoka's head then the other three. Akari looked disgusted as the two heads kissing kept right on kissing while the other two kept telling them what to try next.  
"I can't believe you were friends with these people." Akari glared at the head she was packing around. Ryoga just made what would be a shrugging motion if he still had a head.  
Akari ran upstairs to find Ranma making out with Akane.   
"Aaah see I told you they were in love." Akari smiled sweetly at the young lovers. A growl came from the head then wiggled enough to cause Akari to lose her gri[. Ryoga's head rolled over to the couple and smashed himself into Ranma's head taking it off in one bounce.  
"That'll teach you to force yourself on Akane."   
Akane sat up surprised when Ranma's head disappeared looking around for him she then noticed the other two or one-person one head.  
"Ick that's gross." Akane said to herself.  
Akari glared at Ryoga's head then shouted.  
"You could have killed them both you know." Akari grabbed up the head then smash it against Akane's head knocking her head off quickly.  
"Ouch that hurt, he has a hard head."  
"So sorry." Akari ran out then into Nabiki's room. Glaring around the house she shouted out loud.  
"WHY NOT THE OTHER GIRL'S GOT TO KILL HER TOO." Akari looked inside to see Nabiki sleeping peacefully in her bed.  
"Hmmph oh sure the others catch her doing something kinky and fun, I only get her sleeping, I hate being a minor character." Akari stormed over then smashed Ryoga's head into Nabiki's head. A look of surprise crossed her face as the head deflated then the body after that. "She is nothing but a blown up doll. No wonder she has no heart." Akari ran out of the room carrying her head with her as she moved onto the dark street. Looking around she noticed a girl in a leotard walking toward her.  
"I come with a message for you." Kodachi grinned evilly.  
"Ok spill it what is it." Akari had no trust for this girl  
"Kuno can't make it tonight to run away with you since he shall run off with me bwahahahahahahahahahahaha." Kodachi kept laughing after Akari knocked her head off with her favorite weapon.  
"Stupid girl she must inhale to many chemicals." Akari ran off to find Kuno who was sitting with a cheerleader.  
"Hi I'm a cheerleader and I love Kuno baby here." She then gave Kuno a large hug while Akari ran over to smash in his head.  
"Hmmph It's not like I need some dumb guy anyways, I have Ryoga's head to keep me company." Akari stated to walk off when a scream rends the night air with a spine chilling, blood curling, pain filled uh scream.  
Akari looked up to see her favorite pet pig shaking in fear.  
"Oh did you have a bad dream." Akari wrapped her arms around the pigs neck cuddling him close.  
  
  
A scream rends the night air with a spine chilling, blood curling, pain filled uh scream.  
Kuno sat up in his bed the sweat pouring off his body as he looked around the place.  
  
"A dream, just a dream." Kuno stood up from his bed, walking toward the room his sister slept in. He crept inside to see her sleeping peacefully in her bed.  
  
"If you think you can keep me sleeping so I can see my dear Akane and the pig tail girl run around killing people, your more nuts then I thought." Kuno then sliced her head off with his bokken. "That'll teach you for giving me all those weird potions to make me dream such vile thoughts." Kuno walked back to his room looking forward to a restful nights sleep. The End by Ranma's girl  
  
  
  



End file.
